What I’ll never understand is why somebody would not only continue in such a relationship but bring children into it. Do they honestly believe that a situation like this can be salvaged? Do they think that somebody like this is capable of compassionate parenting? Do they not understand the importance of friendship?
From Modern Love:
Settled for almost a decade into a not-quite-happy-enough relationship, I bemoaned the loss of allure that had wilted over time. “Come sit with me,” I’d coax from my perch on the sofa, but he’d smile and say he preferred his recliner on the other side of the room.
My marriage hadn’t yet reached the point where my husband washed his dishes by holding them suspended above mine, scrubbing only those he used, ignoring mine, ignoring me. I wasn’t yet shushing my toddler and newborn all morning, brainstorming quiet pastimes so their father could sleep late as he was accustomed, undisturbed by our presence. [link]
When someone is “blowing smoke up your arse” today, it is a figure of speech that means that one person is complimenting another, insincerely most of the time, in order to inflate the ego of the individual being flattered.
Back in the late 1700s, however, doctors literally blew smoke up people’s rectums. Believe it or not, it was a general mainstream medical procedure used to, among many other things, resuscitate people who were otherwise presumed dead. In fact, it was such a commonly used resuscitation method for drowning victims particularly, that the equipment used in this procedure was hung alongside certain major waterways, such as along the River Thames (equipment courtesy of the Royal Humane Society). People frequenting waterways were expected to know the location of this equipment similar to modern times concerning the location of defibrillators. [link]
I had no idea that people were growing up in communities that were so white in the 1980s
The census data show that roughly half of white Americans lived in a county where 9 out of 10 people were white in 1980. Today, just over a quarter do. Raising our threshold to 98 percent white… shows that 15 percent of white Americans lived in these near-exclusively white areas in 1980, while less than one percent do today. [link]
Oregon was founded as a utopia for white people
When Oregon was granted statehood in 1859, it was the only state in the Union admitted with a constitution that forbade black people from living, working, or owning property there. It was illegal for black people even to move to the state until 1926…
Of course, the discrimination didn’t stop after the decline of the Klan. White restaurants still wouldn’t serve black people in Portland, black people weren’t allowed in the city’s swimming pools, and the local skating rink set aside a day for black people. This was as late as the early 1960s. [link]